Ad for Air Conditioning

Motivation: The Earth gets hotter and people get fatter. Probably some other animals are getting fatter and hotter too, but they don't buy things (nb: fact check that). Anyway, there's probably only a good 3 or 4 years of electricity left so we might as well use some of it on keeping cool.

Ad: It's a hot summer afternoon in a New York apartment building. Three friends are sitting on the couch, watching television just sweating in out. There should be a close-up on one guy who's so hot that his eyes have rolled up into his head and he looks like he was just out performing some kind of voodoo ceremony in a car-wash. Anyway, they're all just waiting for organ failure when one of them changes channels and Van Morrison appears on the screen, singing lines from "Caravan" and eating entire sandwiches between phrases. The guys on the couch should probably say something like "Damn, he sure seems cool for a guy that looks like a singing chunk of pink Sculpty." At this point Van Morrison should stop singing and look right at them then, just like in the 20 seconds I've seen on youtube of VideoDrome, come through the tv set into the living room. Ice crystals should be forming on him. They're all like "why did you come through our tv Mr. Van Morisson." and he just cuts them off by singing into his mic so loud that the entire room turns to ice and there are penguins and stuff all over the place. Okay, that's just the first, like 30 or 40 seconds. It's revealed that the apartment is now an entire football stadium formed from van morrison's icy breath. The three guys are surrounded by 50,000 penguins, all cheering for more more more. The next two minutes of the ad are Morrison doing his dumb little kicks on stage while everyone, man and beast alike, just go nuts. There should be some sight gags too, like where a guy tries to order a beer and it's just a block of ice or like someone gets so cold he has to have his arm amputated.

Cut to the product shot: a brand new Trane air-conditioner designed & signed by mr. VM himself. fucking sweet, bragh.

Budget: Depending on how many songs you get Van Morrison to do, probably like 3 or 4 million bucks. If his songs are re-written to be about Trane-style air-conditioning, like in the go-phone ad, maybe a little less.